Tuesday Teaser 9/3/19: Gina’s Wolf Part 51

Wow! September is here. I am so looking forward to fall. I want to sleep under a blanket. I want to feel cool enough to enjoy a cup of hot tea. I want to wear my flannel.

I also want my air conditioner to work!

It broke down about a week ago. No, two weeks ago. Maintenance came a week later to fix it. It did work for about 4 days, but yesterday it died again. Luckily the weather has been fairly cool, but my apartment is hot and stuffy if it is even 70 degrees out. And I really, REALLY hate to be hot.

OK, enough whining. Tomorrow is back to work after a wonderful (if non air conditioned) 5 day weekend. I did some spinning, some knitting, some reading, some sewing, and some sleeping. I did some writing too. Here is some of it:

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Gina remembered all the times her mother had bowed to Todd’s wishes, telling Gina to do the same. How many times had her mom brushed off her daughter’s unhappiness? How often had she showed impatience with Gina’s yearning to have her own life? She tried to keep accusation from her voice. “You married him.”

“I did.” Her mom’s bloodshot eye gazed blindly toward the covered window. “I was a widow, alone with  a small daughter to protect, when I met Gerald. He was attractive. Oh, not handsome,” she added, correctly interpreting Gina’s expression. “But charismatic. There was something about him that made me feel cherished and safe. I married him because there had already been two attempts by men to steal us and force me to marry them. I thought he was our best choice.”

“He was a monster,” Gina said flatly.

Her mom’s hand picked at the blanket covering her. “Yes, he was, but I didn’t know that at first.” Even with the swelling and bruises, the bleak expression was plain on her mom’s face. “In the beginning, he was charming. He told me over and over how lucky he was to have gained a wife and a daughter at the same time. He treated you like you were his own.”

Gina remembered times when Todd had played with her. Maybe she had even believed him when he said he loved her. Maybe.

“Then I found out that I was wife number two.”

Gina blinked at that. “You didn’t know he was already married?”

“Of course not. Plenty of men never have even one wife. Whoever heard of a man with two? I confronted him about it, and when he admitted that he had a wife I told him we weren’t legally married, and I was leaving.”

 “I bet that went over well.”

Her mom grimaced. “He became very, very sweet. You know the tone he uses—used—when he grew truly angry? He made threats. I wanted to leave. I wish I’d been brave enough to run then. I talked myself into believing we were safer with him than we would be on the run.”

Gina hurt her lip making a rude sound. Her mom looked quickly up at her.

“You’re right,” her mom agreed in a whisper. “We would have had a better chance then, before he became so powerful. But remember that I was a young woman with a little girl, and no family or friends to help. Maybe I could have found a place to hide if it was just me. But with a little girl? No. And I couldn’t leave you behind. Do you think Gerald Todd would have given up searching for us?”

Gina sighed. “No. But you should have run anyway.”

“Maybe. I stayed because I thought it was safer.”

“It was easier.”

Her mom hesitated. “Maybe,” she said again. “I told myself I was making the best of  a poor choice. As long as he didn’t hurt you, I could bear it.”

“Is that what he threatened?”

He mom nodded her head slightly. “He didn’t threaten me directly. It was always you who would pay for anything I did or said.”

Gina stared at her hand clenched over the wooden arm of the chair. “You were trapped.”

Her mom croaked a bitter laugh. “From the moment I met him.” She shifted her weight in the bed with a stifled grunt of pain. “I know h…” Her voice trailed off uncertainly, apparently balking at the word ‘hate’. “Don’t like me. I made choices that hurt you. I honestly thought they were the best choices under the circumstances.”

“I don’t hate you.” Gina was almost surprised by her swift words. But they were true. “I don’t even dislike you. I was angry with you. It seemed like you didn’t care enough about me. I understand better now.”

Silent tears slid into the hair at her mom’s temples. “Gi-Gi, I’m so sorry. I am so sorry.”

Tears stung her own eyes at the forgotten nickname. She hadn’t been called Gi-Gi since her father died. “It’s going to be okay. Like you said, we’re free now. You freed us when you shot him.”

“I had to do it.” Her mom’s voice was thick with tears. “I’ve never killed anyone before, but he would have killed you if I hadn’t stopped him. I had to do it.”

“I’m glad you did.” She could feel the bruises on her throat when she swallowed. “It worked out. He’s dead and we’re with people who will take care of us and never threaten us or use one of us against the other. We’re safe now.”

Her heart lightened when she said that. The truth of it was like the sun, chasing away shadows and warming the cold places in her heart. The mother she had despised for years could become a real mother, and she could be a better daughter. She would be a better daughter.

“Mom? What do you think about Jay?”

Her mom was silent for a long moment, and when she spoke it wasn’t about Jay. “Tell me about your husband.”

“Cole.” She smiled a little. “He’s not perfect. He gets bossy and tries to order me around. He’s gotten angry with me a time or two. He never tries to manipulate me. He doesn’t threaten. He’s never raised a hand to me. He would die to keep me safe.”

“He loves you.”

“And I love him. He is what a husband should be. I think he learned that from his dad.”

“That’s good.” Her mom nodded. “Okay. What do you think about Jay?”

“I only met him just now. But if he’s like the other men of his family I think you can trust him.”

Her mom went back to pleating the sheet. “I can’t have any more children.”

“I doubt Jay cares. Why don’t you take some time to get to know him? ”

“How much time would he be willing to give me?”

The bitter note in her mom’s voice made Gina wince. “He’s waited over fifty years for the right woman. Ask him. I bet he’s willing to give you all the time you need.”

Her mom smoothed out the pleats she’d created and looked at Gina. “I’ll think about it.”

“Mom, you deserve to be happy.” She reached and gently picked up her mom’s hand. “We both do.”

Fingers tightened over her own. “Can we start over, Georgina?”

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

“Good. Jay told me he would take me to where he lives as soon as I’m well enough. You will live there too. We’ll start a new life there. A better life.”

“Yes. Are you tired now? Should I leave you to rest?”

“I am a little tired.” Her mom gave her hand a squeeze before taking it back. “Could you ask Jay to come back in? I think I rest better when he is near.”

A few minutes later, Gina left Jay sitting in the chair, his knees touching the edge of her mom’s bed, while he whispered to her. A new stepfather? She was okay with Jay for a stepfather